So that was some speech last night, am I right? I think we have a clip.
VIDEO
Amazing. It was so upbeat. At least he didn't say MAGA, whew.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: MAGA Republicans... MAGA Republicans do not respect the Constitution... MAGA forces... Extreme MAGA Republicans... The xtreme MAGA ideology... MAGA Republicans are... MAGA Republicans look at America and see carnage and darkness and despair.
Carnage, darkness and despair. But enough about liberal-run cities. That was easy. But imagine if you replaced MAGA Republicans with China or Russia.
Then what a landmark speech in foreign policy this would be. It would be a call to arms against an evil empire. Except here, who's the evil empire? It's us. I wonder, as he stands here tonight, are equality and democracy under assault?
REPUBLICANS MOCK ‘DEMAGOGIC’ BIDEN SPEECH ON THREATS TO DEMOCRACY WITH ‘BLOOD RED LIGHTING BACKDROP’
PRESIDENT BIDEN: As I stand here tonight, equality and democracy are under assault.
And by what? A chuckle bucket president who shakes hands with his imaginary friends and believes every child's head is sacred and a playground for his nose. I wonder if too much of what's happening in our country today is not normal.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: Too much of what's happening in our country today is not normal. Donald Trump and the MAGA Republicans represent an extremism that threatens the very foundations of our republic.
Yeah, things aren't normal. Soccer is still popular, and we have a deranged president channeling an exorcism. If his head spins, call Dr. Jill, she's a chiropractor. Yeah, I went to med school… OK, so the biggest threat to our democracy are Trump supporters.
But like when Larry Kudlow showed me his pole dancing videos, this is where it gets weird, because I wonder if not every Republican, not even a majority of Republicans, are MAGA Republicans.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: Not every Republican, not even a majority of Republicans, are MAGA Republicans... Not every Republican embraces their extreme ideology… I know because I've been able to work with these mainstream Republicans.
Dude, make up what's left of your mind. First you say MAGA is the biggest threat ever. But then, you know, it's really not even a majority when you think about it. Then, you dumb***, why did you decide to come into millions of our living rooms last night and give a speech in front of a backdrop built by Lucifer and his union buddies?
It makes no sense. It reminds me of when his idiot press secretary said this earlier.
KARINE JEAN-PIERRE: When you ask me about the MAGA agenda... It is one of the most extreme agendas that we have seen... They are threatening political violence and they are attacking our democracy.
But then she says this.
KARINE JEAN-PIERRE: When we talk about the extremism, we're talking about a very small piece, a component of the American public.
So, wow. It's good to know she was hired purely for her competence. Didn't tick any boxes there. So they want you to be a threat, but they have no evidence of it. Perhaps this is why the FBI admitted to padding the domestic violence extremist numbers.
They couldn't find the hate crimes, so they've got to make them up. But hey, I bet he believes America's at an inflection point.
PRESIDENT BIDEN: I believe America is at an inflection point. One of those moments that determine the shape of everything that's to come after. And now America must choose to move forward or to move backwards... For a long time, we've told ourselves that American democracy is guaranteed, but it's not. We have to defend it.
Mmmm. Did he just draw a line? Be careful, Hunter might snort it. But again, he's drawing a line within America. He talks about rejecting violence and inflammatory language, but then cleaves the country in two with rhetoric.
He lectures Americans on violence after hiding in his basement like Chris Cuomo with COVID during months of rioting. He's such a lame duck, he should avoid Dick Cheney.
So what's the point here? Well, this speech was a political call to arms, a feeble distraction that's trying to pit two groups against each other. He's basically Michael Vick and we're the pitbulls…
And at the same time, he's claiming he's unifying. But I've seen more people brought together by leprosy. And that fact is, he doesn't just want to be a wartime president, he wants to be a civil wartime president... But the only thing he has in common with Lincoln is they're both brain-dead.
But Joe has a point. Maybe there is a side in this country that's a threat to democracy, and they use anger and violence when they don't get what they want.
They shut down free speech and debate every chance they get. They eliminate laws that are supposed to protect citizens.
They justify theft and vandalism and choose criminals' rights over victims' rights. They take the very agencies meant to protect us and use them against us. Those are all legit threats to democracy and it's not MAGA, ultra-MAGA or MAGA-lite with only 65 calories.
I remember reading about how presidents in trouble might start wars, but no one ever explained to below average Joe that he's not supposed to do it within our country. But then again, after seeing how he did in Kabul you'd understand why he might want to have a home game instead of going on the road. What say you, Joe?
JOE BIDEN SKIT
And so Antifa went from being an idea to being his idea. He made a wartime speech for Americans against Americans. I mean, this idiot had the White House, Senate, Congress, and yet his strategy is debate red-on-blue violence for political benefit. But you can't fall for this. They want you to take the bait, and you can't be like them.
That speech was supposed to be scary. Like how my mom said if I kept making faces, they would freeze like that. No. That's Botox. But the speech is more funny than scary, and you can't forget that. Remember, after every Trump speech or rally, the media's hair was always on fire.
You could see their flaming scalps from space. Meanwhile, people rioted and attacked Trump supporters. That's what they want you to do here. They want you to set your own hair on fire and you can't because your hair is too beautiful and your life is too much fun.
So sit back and giggle at their desperate distractions. Come November, you may be the last one laughing.
